Ready to leave!

In truth I've been ready to leave for a long time...In truth I've never hated a place so much and been so ready to leave...And really, I've never actually hated a place, and never been able to understand when people said that they hated a place...so maybe this was the universe's little gift to me to help me understand and empathize with people who have been in a place they can't jive with. Of course, I'm always able to find redeeming qualities anywhere...here it's the abundant tropical fruit and the beautiful (albiet often trash-filled) beaches. I appreciate too the rain in the evenings and the hot sun during the day which dries (and I like to think cleans) my hand-washed clothes so brilliantly. Also, I love how at any point in time, you may wander up to the clinic and see some stray chickens or goats munching on the grass...or perhaps a horse, as I saw today.

Today, my last full day here, I am soo ready to leave! I walked down to the lab to get an HIV/Syphillis test, thinking it not a bad idea considering how much blood and bodily fluids I've been splashed with here. Along the way I found it very hard to fight the overwhelming urge to knock men off their motorcycle who made kissing sounds at me or called out "baby!" to me. I had to go two different labs because one of them didn't have the tests today (?). The second lab was an interesting experience...by "lab" I mean a dirty shack with some folding chairs and a woman at a folding table with a box for $. Behind a dirty (no really: dir-ty) sheet, there was a "supply" room, which seemed to just have a bunch of needles and glass tubes for blood. The one and only tourniquet sat on her little table next to the money box. I paid her the equivalent of $3.75 and she opened up a fresh needle/syringe (yes, I was watching), tied off my arm, and not bothering to wipe it off with alcohol or change her gloves poked my arm. She didn't find a vein the first time, so she withdrew it, and without changing the needle, poked a second place in my arm. Thankfully she found blood there and pulled back a sufficient amount of blood to put into the vial and send off to the hospital (no testing on location).

When I got back home, I quickly washed my last load of laudnry so that it would have time to dry today before I leave at 7:30 tomorrow morning. I ignored Ena, one of 2 house helpers (cleans and cooks) who has been asking me for weeks about this particular pair of pants I have. She wants me to give them to her and ever since she asked me the first time, she stares at them every time I wear them. It's quite uncomfortable... Anyway today she was asking what time am I leaving tomorrow and making very baby-sweet faces at me (which she never does otherwise). I do plan on giving them to her--not because I don't like them, in fact, I really do, but I feel like, what the hell? If she really wants them, why not...but I'm also feeling a selfish flash strike through me saying screw you! They're my pants! You probably won't even fit in them and I need them to do yoga in when I get home! haha. Alas...because of these feelings, I feel like that's exactly why I should give them up....oh geeze.

So I went back at 2pm to get the results and learned that she didn't understand my request for both tests and only did the HIV (which by the way was negative). I walked home crying on street, upset because there is no testing in the afternoon and I leave in the am, and I don't have heathcare in the US to get tested nor treated if I am positive, and I basically went to that shady place for nothing, because HIV can take 3 months to show up and I more wanted the syphillis test because antibiotics are cheap here and it's an easy fix....blah, blah, blah....alas, I looked it up, and there are plenty of free clinics in NYC, which I figure like here, will be an interesting experience if nothing else. Fingers crossed that I didn't incur any infections just by going to the clinic here....

Now just to stuff my face with Haitian rice and red beans...maybe one last coffee with fresh raw sugar...and basically wait until tomorrow morning! Or rather wait until 6:15 tomorrow night when I land at JFK. Yay!
****And I should say: I do not in anyway condone such whiney behavor, nor waiting for time to pass... I think it's pretty pathetic and downright stupid in fact... I should be living and thriving in the moment, soaking up what I can from a place I'll never return to... so I'll keep that in mind... as I drug myself with kava and valerian to go to bed early tonight :)