Last night I stood out in the pouring rain in my socks and ate a plum and looked up at the sky, and got completely soaked. Yum.

I just returned from a trip to Colorado with Justin, which involved a cold night of camping in Questa, a meet-the-extended-family occasion, which went very well, and a lot of great walks and talks in my sister's new neighborhood (which used to be mobster and moon-shine central during the prohibition era, along with being the Little Italy of Denver).

I've only worked 2 shifts thus far this week, but the round up of Espanola drama has included a heroin addicted baby born in the ambulance and then transported here, a major postpartum hemmorhage, 3 precipitous deliveries--one occurring into a woman's sweatpants on the stretcher (the best part being that she didn't make a peep and we only knew the baby had been born when we heard some muffled whimpers coming from her pants--talk about stoic!), I held a 14wk fetus in my hands while it was still attached by a tiny umbilical cord leading inside the mom, and I successfully put a catheter in a 300+ lb lady. Now if only telling of such excitement gave me the strength/will to get through the next 4 shifts.... I scheduled myself a little whackily so that I could have time to go to Colorado and to Kansa City for my friends wedding next weekend, which means not having to actually take time off from work, but having to work 75hrs in 6 days.

...So on that note, I have to go to bed now! I'm not honestly sure why I'm still awake!

much love, Rachel

rounding it out

June? What? That means we're halfway through 2010.
That means I've worked at the hospital and lived in Santa Fe for 8 full months now. That means I'm going back to Peru next month...and that the Mayan calendar ends in a year and a half...and that more than anything: time is going really F'ng fast, and so I better be focusing on my priorities before I find myself too deep in something other than what I want to be doing. This comes down to: I want to be practicing as a healer, well more literally: one who helps facilitate the body's own natural processes, helping people be whole and well, without assaulting the body with chemicals and external forces, but acknowledging the body's wisdom and allowing it to do it's work. This is one reason I'm so drawn to midwifery, because it's about empowering a beautiful process and not getting in the way of nature. So...I want to be doing this. But I want to be spending an immense amount of time outside too, learning about the land and the insects and plants. And more concretely, I want to become a certified professional midwife, go to Guatemala and be a hiking guide there, and buy land in Peru or at least hang out on my friend Conrad's land and catch babies there for villagers.
Phew. Just had to get that out the way.

As for updates: I went back to the midwest for a long weekend to celebrate my brother's graduation from Lewis University and my cousin's wedding. I flew into Minneapolis and saw some good friends there--ate at the wonderful Birchwood Cafe with Karen, Alexis, and Kelsey, then drove down to Des Moines. My eyes loved seeing so much green and my skin felt moisturized just by existing there. As always, I had a fabulous time with my cousins and was delighted by the Iowa salsa scene. I went dancing on Sat nightat the Des Moines Embassy Club, and a girl who I met in the bathroom gave me a shot of tequila in a mouthwash cup from her flask. On another night, I enjoyed playing tennis surrounded by big trees and flood lamps that drew mosquitoes...

I was happy to come back to Santa Fe, where you don't stick to your chairs when sitting outside. My friends and I celebrated the glorious weather here, by literally taking all of the furniture out of my living room and putting in the front yard, where we grilled up some asparagus, corn on the cob, and homemade black bean burgers on the grill I bought from a police officer on craigslist earlier that day.

This past week we lost one of our travel nurses, so I had to step up and be a charge nurse twice last week, which meant it was just me on the unit with a less experienced nurse. We ended up having an emergency C-section, who later needed a blood transfusion, and a patient came up so dehydrated that the ER had to put an IV in her neck because her veins were so flat. Fun times. I am grateful for the challenge that it provided me, and that I was able to handle it all pretty smoothly! It renewed my sense of worth in doing this work for now, which I never wanted to do (be in a hospital that is), and made me feel that much more confident in my skillz. However it also strengthened my belief in the fact that for normal healthy women, hospital birthing is dangerous, and that the more we mess with the body's natural processes, the more likely we are to end up with bad outcomes (not to mention expensive!)

And last but not least, I have a boyfriend. I feel very strange using that word, as in the last 2 1/2 years I have become unaccustomed to using it with any relation to myself. But yep. I was wooed by a boy who I met in a cave on the Zia reservation, and who on our 2nd time hanging out dissected coyote poop and told me what he suspected it had eaten, pointed out some bats' hiding place under a bridge, enlightened me about bee reproductive anatomy, then made me dinner in a skillet which I convinced him should be eaten on his roof, where we looked at the stars. Que romantico :)

Well, that's it for now folks! Cheers to bbqs, summer nights, corn on the cob, and thunder storms!
xxxxoooooRO

My beautiful yard/outdoor living room and my wonderful friends

Oh yeah, and I hosted an early 90s themed skating party a couple weeks ago....and I forgot to tell Justin the theme :) see sparkly fanny pack

Recent adventures (or a more obvious title)

I have completely lost all routine and balance in my life...but it sure has been packed full of fun!
I am on my 3rd night working after nearly 2 weeks away from my unit. Last week I shadowed in the Albuquerque neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), to get some experience handling premies and really sick babies, so that in the case that we have on up in Espanola, I can be more prepared to care for him/her, as there is no NICU or even pediatric docs in house at night. Hanging out with little 1 and 2 pound babies was definitely a worthwhile and strange experience.
In Albuquerque I stayed at my friend Eric's house, which is within walking distance to the hospital--a refreshing change from a 35mile commute. Following my 3 days on the day shift, I lazed about the house all day, then went out for tapas and salsa dancing with my friend Lisa. After an amazing dance, one guy asked where I was from, and when I said Iowa, he laughed--surprised and amused--and then said: "you fine!" People always have funny reactions to Iowa...

The next day, Eric and I drove down to Las Cruces, where we couchsurfed with some PhD astronomy students who showed us Saturn, the surface of the moon, and some solar flares on the sun via their super-powered telescopes. I had forgotten all about space, being too focused on my little microcosm here, and it was a refreshing shift in thought. We also went hiking with my friend from college, Sarah, in the deserty Organ mountains.
The next day we went to White Sands, which is an incredible gypsum desert, where we camped in our very own pristine dune. We froze at night, then woke up boiling in the sun, then dragged our sunworn and sandy selves to Alamagordo, where we couchsurfed with a retired airforce couple. There we delighted in showers and fresh filipino food and toured the base, which was interesting to me, as I had never been on one...and don't feel the need to again. Patrick had met Nori when he was stationed in the Philippines and brought her home with him 40 years ago.
The next day we drove to Carlsbad, where we climbed into "lower cave," 850 feet below the surface. We got to see cave pearls, clear crickets, and an array of different types of magnificent cave formations. We ate dinner at a Chinese-Mexican restaurant, which served menudo alongside lo mein, then went to a drive-thru movie, and camped outside White's City. The next morning we returned to Carlsbad Caverns to explore the natural entrance, and then slowly made our way back to Albuquerque via the beautiful Lincoln National Forest (where Smokey the Bear is from) and the mountains surrounding Ruidoso.

The past 2 weeks have further solidified my delight in my "wait list" status for the nurse-midwifery program. I wasn't honestly disappointed for a second that I didn't get in right away, as I am not quite ready to give up my free time, which allows for such adventures. Nor am I anxious to put myself into $75k worth of debt. The more I think about it, the less I want to ever put myself in a situation again that makes me feel the need to work in a hospital (or any other such institution that does not allign with my beliefs). No...I now aspire to simply buy a piece of land, build a home out of earth and recycled materials, farm and collect honey, and attend occasional births for family and the surrounding community. :)

Happy May Day! I hope you spent your day celebrating/promoting workers and immigrats rights! I brought my little sister (big brother big sister program) to an amazing parade with giant puppets of the Dalai Lama, Emma Goldman, Cesar Chavez, etc, which ended in a protest of Arizona's new racial profiling law, and a feast of free food at the farmers market.

xo RO

Family is a bag of boiled eggs...

No really, my mom left a pre-packaged bag of peeled hard boiled eggs in my fridge when she left. I can't put my finger on why it's so weird....but a zip-topped, vacuum sealed bag of prepared eggs is just not right.

Furthermore...what the hell is up with the sudden urge to have a baby in my belly and start making and eating cookies all the time that comes from hanging out with my family? OH God. Thankfully it was just 5 days---4 really--or else the subconscious, but incredibly penetrating brainwashing may have led me to do something really nutty....thankfully were no suitable men in my life during those crucial days and the following hangover period.....It reminds me of going to Catholic Youth Camp as a youngster and singing about Jesus and having so much fun in the name of the Lord, and then getting out and being like, WOAH, what the hell just happened? Phew, that was weird! aaaaaand I'm back! haha

But all in all, I would say it was a great trip! My parents and Costa Rican foreign exchange student brother, Beto, met me in Las Vegas (NM of course) on Monday to soak in the hot springs. Then we headed into Santa Fe to get my mother the only thing she had been thinking about during her 6hr drive: a frito pie. She was unhappy with the rendition she received, so we went to the Tesuque Village Market the following day to get her the frito pie of her dreams which she had eaten last fall.

On Tuesday we played around at Tent Rocks, an amazing and unique feast for the geology nerd, and I was very proud of my mom, who made it all the way to the top. We then devoured some pizza and listened to a bluegrass jam at the local pizza place. Weds the boys climbed Atalaya and I took my mom to do something that was a little more her style: shop. Thursday the big event seemed to be going to "The" Trader Joes, while I slept off my night shift. And on Friday morning I met them for breakfast at The Maven, where we feasted on huevos rancheros and migas and watched from our bakery window side table as they made the pastries for the day.

From their trip, I received the reminder of not being attached to any expectations or desires, of maintaining my own truth no matter how loudly another idea of truth is being expressed, and to just be with people and let the magic of the mingling of spirits unfold, instead of trying to control the situation by trying to make everyone happy. My family always likes to challenge me :)

At Backroad Pizza after an afternoon of hiking

In other news, I have learned that my car has a turbo engine, haha, and I only stall/peel out about once a day now :) I definitely have fahrvergnügen.

It may be the first day of spring, but we just got a couple more inches of snow...didn't I leave the midwest for such shenanigans?

Last shift, we had 2 babies basically at the same time, so thankfully 2 drs were in the house, because we only had 2 nurses (usually it's at least 2 nurses and a doc per delivery), and of course our other patients (2 postpartum moms and babes) had to (wo)man for themselves while we ran around like crazy until 8am. Always an interesting time in Española!

my super cute dad!

tent rocks